Showing posts with label USA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label USA. Show all posts

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Letter from America

North to South American road trip: New York, Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, Rhode Island, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Virginia, North Carolina,  Tennessee, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, Texas, Alabama, Florida.

The motto that adorns the side of Key West’s police cars reads Protecting and Serving Paradise. I’d like to think that God’s business card has the same motto, perhaps with an asterisk appended and some small print that reads *no, this isn’t the place with all the virgins, that’s the other place, but  before you try to scuttle off there read the entry criteria carefully.  Fortunately for us, reaching this version of paradise had simple enough entry criteria, lying as it did at the southernmost tip of the continental US, the tail end of the Florida Keys.  Driving down the overseas highway that connects the different keys by bridges I was struck not by the aquamarine colour of the sea (for it was pouring with rain), nor by the triumph of bridge engineering (triumphant though they undoubtedly are), but by a nagging desire to pinpoint exactly where it was that Arnie blew up a section of the bridge with a rocket launched from a recently hijacked fighter jet in the magnificent spy satire True Lies.  Certain we were passing the spot I mumbled to Helen ‘this is it I think, Arnie, fighter jet, True Lies’, receiving the response ‘oh, really? What’s True Lies’?  And yet in spite of this distinctly underwhelmed response, and Key West’s claims to the contrary, if paradise isn’t a kitsch action movie with Arnie that includes a striptease from Jamie Lee Curtis then, hell, I just don’t know what is.

With a storm closing in on the Keys our camping plans began to look more foolhardy than a swarthy terrorist taking on the Governator. Hunkering down in a series of cheap but shady motels, the rain pounding a relentless drum beat on the roof, cabin fever slowly began to set in.  It was when the maddening and near constant intrusion of commercial breaks on American TV started to become less maddening, and I found my hand poised over the phone to order a space-saving spice rack (but they give you another one completely free!) that I realised it was time to move on.  The plan to flog our camping gear on to other campers in order to recoup at least a fraction of our costs was jettisoned to the incontrovertible logic of if there ain’t any campers there ain’t anyone to flog it to.   Instead, and somewhat reluctantly, we handed over our complete stash to a surprised but thankful lady we met in the parking lot of a of a kitten rescue thrift store, the unverified agreement being that she made a donation to the kitty shelter in exchange for the hundreds of dollars of kit.  To be unencumbered by stuff for the first time in a long time was liberating – we were back to a couple of rucksacks, and as we checked into a condo in Key Largo to sit out the storm in relative comfort, it was a good time to reflect back on our jaunt down the States.

The odometer read over 4,000 miles, and we’d visited eighteen out of the fifty states, albeit some of them very briefly. This served as a lesson that ‘united’ though these states may be, their unison is less pronounced than their differences.  This, I think, is one of the many joys of taking a road trip through America; it’s not dissimilar to visiting a series of different countries, but with the inconveniences of border crossings removed.  Though the major corporations, not least the fast food ones, are doing their darnedest to remove these differences by decorating the highways and byways with an identikit vista of urban sprawl, it’s easy to look past, or maybe through, this blight and instead settle one’s gaze on something more fundamental and visceral.  The accents, as an example, gave us a changing audio soundtrack as we snaked our way down from north to south, the clipped and precise tones of New England slowly morphing into the syrupy and enticing drawl of the Deep South.  The southern phrase y’all marked, for me, this transition neatly, a multi-purpose piece of dialect that was a neat substitute for ‘are you’ or ‘you two’ or ‘have you’.  So, ‘are you ready to order?’ becomes ‘y’all ready to order?’, ‘you two enjoy your evening’ becomes ‘y’all enjoy your evening now’ and ‘have you noticed the sign?’ becomes ‘y’all seen that sign, now get off my land before I open a can of double-barreled shotgun on your pommie ass’.  The last one may be a touch of dramatic license for nobody, to my knowledge, either threatened or actually did open a can of anything on my ass.  That type of activity is a strictly private one between me and my betrothed or, in extreme circumstances, between me and my doctor.    

The smells too marked our gradual journey south, and it is no surprise to me that smell is held to be the most evocative of the senses, the one most closely linked to memory.  The smells of the north were of wood burning and slowly decomposing vegetation as summer turned to autumn and the leaves began their return to the forest floor, going out in a blaze of glory.  The smells of the south were the newly damp dust of Texas as the long and worrying drought came to an end as we left Austin, and the tropical tang of humidity in Florida that reminded me of lazy days in Thailand.  The scents in our car also changed as the cooler weather gradually turned warmer which, in turn, caused the car to morph from a tepid refrigerator to a food spoiling greenhouse. ‘Um, I think I’ve figured out what the smell was’ Helen said, pulling what I think was a decomposing corn cob from the depths of the boot, but could equally have been a stray squirrel trying to cadge a ride south who prematurely ran out of nuts and water in its little handkerchief tied to a stick.    

If dead squirrels aren’t dark enough for you then I do have another observation. It touches at the grey (dark is perhaps overstating it) at the heart of a road trip; the price of freedom.  It would be remiss not to reflect a little on the concept of freedom when discussing a trip through America, for the word is emblazoned everywhere, often on bumper stickers that read ‘freedom isn’t free’.  Quite what this phrase really means I’m yet to figure out, and reluctant to expand on (because, frankly, we’d be here all day, it would only be fun for me, and I do try to keep my literary onanism to myself.  Well, all types of onanism in fact).  However, the implication that freedom has costs attached is a fair, if clichéd, observation and one that struck me in a very parochial way as we enjoyed the freedoms that having your own car affords.  We could go anywhere, we were captains of our own ship, and we were bound only by a self-imposed date on which we’d promised to return the car.  Wonderful as all this is there is a cost attached; the cost of insulation.  Insulation from the outside world is easily overcome by parking up and getting out, but insulation from other people is a cost that I hadn’t thought about, or expected to pay.

I’ve written on numerous times in the past about how the people we’ve met - the good, the bad, and the just plain weird – have added the crucial colour to our round the world movie.  What struck me about driving ourselves around is that this colour is, if not lost, then washed out a little.  Sharing a journey with a stranger can be a profound and joyous event, and the profundity and joy can take on an almost infinite number of forms; from learning something new, to making a friend, to just the solace a piece of unexpected human contact provides.  Driving yourself limits these interactions and although we did, on occasion, share our movie with a stray extra who bought colour and warmth to the narrative, it was all too rare.   So there’s an irony that comes with driving yourself around; it’s the things you don’t, and can’t, control that tend to have the most profound impact on your life, and yet the more control you have over your life the freer you are considered to be. The freedom of having our own car gave us a lot, but it took away a little too. 

Would I give up the car next time and jump on a Greyhound bus? Probably not. In a land where the car is king the bus is the jester, a preserve of characters you’d love to meet, but also a few you’d really not want to.  What our car-induced relative isolation meant, however, was that when the opportunity presented itself to spend some time with people we knew we jumped at it.  It was time to get out of the car, and dust off those social skills (remember what we talked about, Helen said, you can’t just pee in the bushes when we’re in company).  First it was to Austin, in Texas, a last minute decision to spend some time with our friends Sarah and Bradley.  Regular readers will remember Sarah from a previous post, the brains behind a charity that’s bringing water to isolated areas of Kenya.  As Bradley pulled into our motel in his suave black SUV we all agreed that this was, you know, a bit different from our last meeting in the Kenyan bush where we’d pushed jerry can laden wheelbarrows up hills and shared raised eyebrows as we politely tried to finish our heavy bowls of ugali.  A happy evening was spent noshing down on tex-mex this time, catching up, and Helen and I drinking the pregnant Sarah’s and supportive Bradley’s allocation of booze.  Austin is famed for being a liberal enclave in conservative Texas and as we merrily threw about our shared left-of-centre views I was simultaneously both happy to be in such great company, and slightly concerned that too many words out of place would cause the other diners to enact a can, open, ass scenario.  Didn’t happen of course, and as we said our goodbyes in the sultry heat of the Texan night it was not just the spice and booze in our stomachs that had left us enriched.

Invigorated by meeting Sarah and Bradley we took the decision to get some miles behind us, and set off on a two day drive across Texas, Louisiana and Alabama to reach Sarasota in what was to be our final state; Florida.   Interstate driving in America has none of the appeal of driving the quieter and more scenic roads but in such a vast land it’s sometimes necessary, and we had a goal in mind that justified it; meeting two old friends, Maria and Kelvin.  Maria and Kelvin are the parents of one of my school and later university friends, Alex, and a serendipitous piece of timing meant that their holiday in Florida coincided with us passing through. 

Sarasota is one of the wealthier areas of Florida, the uniformly manicured gardens of the housing complex Maria and Kelvin were staying in attesting to the controversial development of a state that was once nothing more than a big swamp.  I’ve always loved spending time with Maria and Kelvin, even when I was a schoolboy and other friends parents were supposed to be just that; parents but nothing more.  Their wit, good nature and intelligence makes conversation flow as freely as the waves that lap against the shores of Sarasota’s incredible beaches, beaches that we wandered along discussing this beguiling country we were all visitors to.  Maria told us of an incident during their last visit to the States, just before Obama won the election, and when the talk of not just this town, but every town around the world was if America would get its first black President.  A member of staff in Wal-Mart had referred to Obama by the ‘n’ word and this not only tells you a little about why the United States can be defined as much by its division as by its union, but also a lot about why Maria is so great.  Instead of taking the meek and relativistic stance of ‘I’m just a tourist here’ Maria fronted up to this bigot and in icy tones informed him that in the UK he’d be arrested for that kind of disgusting language before turning on her heel and walking out.  I’ve never really understood the dictum that you should never discuss religion, politics or sex, especially with strangers, and this post would be a whole lot shorter if I’d stuck with that advice.  I far prefer the dictum that evil triumphs when good people do nothing.

Saying goodbye to Kelvin and Maria, and also to the sun as it transpired, we headed to Key West, and then on to Miami to conclude our US road trip.  We’d scrambled and hiked the hills of Vermont and the wilds of Acadia National Park in Maine.  We’d moved from the European feeling Boston to the American heartland of the Shenandoah National Park in Virginia.  The colours of the leaves on the Blue Ridge Parkway in North Carolina had given way to the sounds of country music in Nashville.   The desert of Texas slowly changed to the lushness of tropical Florida.   

A country of contradictions was behind us; the beauty of the landscape set against the glow of the golden arches, a soaring freedom as we sailed from state to state against an insularity of a box on wheels, the crisp air of an autumn day against the muggy humidity of just another day in paradise.  Contradictions maybe, but one thing was very clear.  I love this country, it can be a paradise sometimes, and I’ll be back.  Provided that the can stays closed, of course.

Sunday, 16 October 2011

Driven to distraction

America’s highways and byways

The following clarifications to the rules and regulations that govern road travel in the United States come into force with immediate effect:

  1. Anyone caught using their cell phone whilst driving will be assigned a cast member from the sitcom 2 Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps who will permanently accompany the offender, repeating lines of dialogue from the show.  This will continue until the offender either (a) has a nervous breakdown, (b) drives his or her car at full speed into a wall, or (c) starts to laugh.  In the latter instance the offender will be immediately admitted to a mental asylum.
  2. Consistent failure to use indicators when exiting a road will result in the seizure of the offender’s vehicle.  The vehicle will be adapted to include a high voltage electric element in the driver’s seat that is connected to the indicator stick and the steering wheel.  Any 90 degree rotation of the steering wheel that takes place without the accompaniment of the applicable indicator will result in an electric shock.  Not, as one might expect, to the driver, but to a small fluffy kitten.  The images and audio from this will be streamed through the vehicle’s sat nav interface.  The electric element will remain in the driver’s seat.  As a reminder.
  3. Any driver who fails to exit the fast lane of a freeway when there is ample space in the other lanes, thereby causing other vehicles to either slow down or undertake, will be barred from participation in all public holidays and private celebrations.  This includes but is not limited to: birthdays, Christmas, thanksgiving, New Year’s Eve, christenings of offspring, and Valentine’s Day.  During these periods the offender will be placed, with other offenders, in a gym that is equipped exclusively with a large loop of running machines.  The offenders will be required to move sideways from one running machine to the next, in a continuous loop.  The pace of the running machines can be, and will be, altered.  The offenders will partake in this activity until they can prove they understand the concept of relative speeds, and by extension the importance of lane control.  Upon successful completion of this course all festivity rights will be restored.  With the exception of Valentine’s Day.  Nobody could love someone that obnoxious.
  4. Any motorcyclist who rides without wearing a helmet will be the instant recipient of a Darwin Award and be publically feted for their selfless and considerate contribution to the national organ donor programme.
That is all.  You drive safe now.


< No animals, especially cute little kittens, were harmed in the writing of this post.>

Thursday, 6 October 2011

Welcome to America

New York, headed north

This is how the conversation with the charming US Border Agent at New York’s JFK airport went, l’esprit de l’escalier style:

Him: You need to remove this piece of paper from your passport, affirmative?

Me: <groggy jet-lagged silence>

Him: AFFIRMATIVE?! Jesus, it’s like talking into a cave!  

Me: Affirmative? Affirmative? Since when were you guys a wing of the military? And since when did your job description morph into outright hostility and rudeness?  And as we’re clearly in a Q&A session why don’t you go fuck yourself?

And this is how it really went:

Him: You need to remove this piece of paper from your passport, affirmative?

Me: <groggy jet-lagged silence>

Him: AFFIRMATIVE?! Jesus, it’s like talking into a cave!
 
Me: Bit unnecessary. Yes, affirmative. Sigh.

New York is, apparently, renowned for the rudeness of its inhabitants.  I’ve never noticed it in the past though.  Brusque certainly, direct maybe – all OK by me – but not outright rude.  Our border guard friend clearly felt, however, that it was his responsibility to fulfil the stereotype.  To get the newly disembarked all nice and angry before they plough off into NYC so they can fully contribute to the melting pot of passive aggression and poorly concealed frustration that is the low background hum in big cities.  Perhaps if I’d really have said what I so wanted to say he’d have slapped me on the back, smiled broadly and said welcome to New York son, you’ll fit right in, now you have yourself a shitty day, you hear?

I simply wasn’t mentally prepared for this rudeness having spent the last month in the loving embrace of family in beautiful Vancouver where rudeness just doesn’t fly - there’s probably a by-law against it.  Nor was I expecting it, blindly convinced as I am that Americans are the friendliest people on earth.  I mention this arsehole with his little stamp to prove only that there is the exception to every rule, whereas the rule itself (Americans = friendly, keep up) has also been proven time and again over the last few weeks as we’ve been treated with hospitality and kindness, and have a trunk full of free firewood as evidence. 

Let’s get the hell out of Dodge I said to Helen, still grumpy from our encounter with officialdom, gunning the newly acquired SUV out of the airport, and north out of Manhattan, bouncing over the potholes (Obama’s right – the roads in America do need sorting out, the driving standards could do with a bit of an overhaul too while he’s at it).  We were on our way.  Another road trip, this time on the east coast of the states, with no real plan other than ending up in Miami six weeks hence.    It can be slightly overwhelming, having no plan, but it’s equally exhilarating.  And when you have your own car you can just drive in a rough general direction, and pretty much let the rest take care of itself.  Which is what we did, heading north east into Connecticut, with a rough plan to take in Vermont and Maine in the coming couple of weeks.  But that’s a tale for another day.

The road trip had started.  Affirmative? Affirmative?! Geez, it’s like talking into a cave.

Sunday, 25 September 2011

Alaska: The ‘Can’t Leave Your Self Behind’ Guide

Beard grown? Check.  Warm clothes packed? Check.  Pioneering sense of adventure primed? Check.  Magnificent scenery-o-meter calibrated, faces set to stunned? Check and double check.

Then what do you need this guide for?  Stop buggering about and book a ticket to Alaska.

Done it yet?

You need more information?  Geez, you lot are demanding

Okay, let’s start with who this guide is not for.  If you’re sitting at your computer with a bear sandwich halfway to your lips, a hunting rifle perched next to your leg, and a truck full of bewildering outdoor kit sitting in your driveway then it’s probably best to just let out a mumbled pussy and get back to your slightly crinkly copy of Chicks, Clips and Conspiracies.  This is Alaska 101, and need not detain the veteran adventurer for long.

If however you’re intrigued and enraptured by visiting one of the most magnificent vacation destinations on earth, if you have a yearning for adventure, and if, like me a few months back, you have little to no idea of how to make this a reality then read on.  Then book a ticket.  Deal?
This guide covers some budgeting guidance (it’s expensive), the route we took, short overviews of where we visited and camped, tips on eating and drinking, and any other stuff that I think is either (a) useful, (b) funny, or (c) both.  As I have mentioned previously in the mini-guides I wrote for South East Asia what follows is far from comprehensive and even further from objective.  It is tips that I have compiled from what we did, and if it encourages just one reader to make the trip up north then I consider it time well spent on my part.  You can be the judge on whether reading it is time well spent on your part.

Before we start allow me to acknowledge the debt of gratitude I have to the anonymous contributors on the Lonely Planet and Fodor’s discussion forums who gave their time and guidance in helping me to plan for this trip.  Thank you.  This is my own contribution to the online community of travellers who understand that everyone who takes a trip needs, at some point, a bit of friendly advice.

We took our trip in mid July to early August 2011.

Northbound, ho!  



Budgeting

There’s no way to sugar coat this: Alaska is expensive.  The tourist businesses up there really do need to make hay whilst the sun shines and have perhaps four or five months to take home a year’s worth of income and it is this, in addition to the logistical expenses associated with being so remote, that push up prices.  We don’t regret for a moment changing our plans and including Alaska as an impromptu addition to our year long itinerary, but we did both take a sharp intake of breath when we concluded our expenses afterwards – bang goes the contingency budget, may need a plan B.
 
What I couldn’t find when I was planning our adventure was a rough guide to budgeting for an Alaska trip, so what follows is a partial remedy to this.  To give some context, as context is important when talking about budgets – we were conscious of our budget and didn’t do any of the more expensive activities such as flightseeing, and we camped to drastically reduce our accommodation costs.  A motel room will set you back anything from $150 USD per night upwards, whereas a campsite will charge between $10 and $25 per night.  Offsetting this somewhat is the fact that we had to buy all our camping kit, totalling perhaps $300, but this was an investment not just for Alaska but also for the rest of our trip that will follow in the ‘lower 48’ of the States. 

We ate out on occasion, probably on too many occasions if we’re honest, but also ate regularly around a campfire to cut costs.  Hiring a car undoubtedly added a big chunk to the overall expenses but it’s a cost worth swallowing for the freedom it affords.

So whilst the overall message is that Alaska will certainly make a dent in your bank account it is also worth noting that many of the best experiences are free – taking in the magnificent scenery, hiking through the backcountry, chatting with the folk who call this place home.

The hard figures

The figures below are for the two of us, in US Dollars, and are intended to provide a rough guide rather than a budget recommendation.  They cover everything from the flight up to Anchorage from Seattle, our time in Alaska, and the ferry journey back to Vancouver.

Total cost: c. $7,000 USD.

Of which roughly…

  • $1,500 went on hiring an SUV with full insurance coverage in Alaska, and $250 for a one way rental on Vancouver Island.
  • $1,360 went on flights – Seattle to Anchorage, Anchorage to Juneau
  • $420 went on the Alaska ferry leg from Juneau to Prince Rupert, including a cabin
  • $360 went on the BC ferry leg from Prince Rupert to Port Hardy
  • $400 went on gas
  • $350 went on activities: halibut fishing, kayaking, glacier hiking
  • $300 went on camping kit
The rest of it went on the normal things you spend money on when you’re on vacation; eating out, booze, gifts, groceries, bumper stickers to decorate your cooler box.  You know, important stuff like that.  





Route and travel logistics

I debated various travel options before finally concluding on a fly-drive-ferry combo (fly to Alaska, drive around, ferry back south), and simply can’t recommend it highly enough, particularly for those flying internationally into the USA.

The overall travel plan is below, with more details on each leg in what follows (excluding the flights):

  • Flight from Seattle to Anchorage
  • Two week road trip in a hire car around central Alaska
  • Flight from Anchorage to Juneau in southeast Alaska
  • Alaska Ferry from Juneau down the Inside Passage to Prince Rupert, Canada (2 nights, 3 days)
  • BC (British Columbia, Canada) Ferry from Prince Rupert to Port Hardy, Vancouver Island (1 day)
  • One day car rental from Port Hardy to Nanaimo on Vancouver Island
  • Ferry from Nanaimo to Horseshoe Bay in West Vancouver


The sea route – an ode to the ferries and the Inside Passage



Our end destination was Vancouver so changing ferry operators (from Alaska ferries to BC ferries) at Prince Rupert was necessary.  I understand however that Alaska Ferries (the Alaska Marine Highway to give it its official name) also run a trans-marine route from Seward in Alaska to Bellingham in Washington.  This would be an amazing trip, especially if you were flying out of Seattle.

Changing ferry operators afforded me the opportunity to compare the two and much as I’m reluctant to heap more negativity on the beleaguered BC Ferries I must confess that I preferred the Alaska Ferries.  The BC Ferry was sparkly and new and was just a little too much like a cruise ship for my liking, with a price tag to match ($180 CDN for a one day sailing on BC Ferries vs. $140 USD for a three day sailing with Alaska Ferries – do the maths on that one).  Interestingly, the reason why the BC ferry is so sparkly and new is because it replaced the previous one, which sank.  The story goes that the Captain and Second-in-Command were snoozing, but had left the fully trained Third-in-Command at the helm.  Who somewhat unwisely decided to get high and turn off the camera on the bridge so he and his girlfriend could feel the motion of the ocean in privacy.  Which they certainly did when the ferry ran aground and promptly sank. Can you imagine his annual appraisal?

Well, we’ve been delighted with your progress, in particular your dedication to attaining your navigation certificates.  Having said this there are some areas for improvement – not sinking boats whilst high and boning your girlfriend should be your main area of focus.
     
But let’s get back on topic - regardless of who you sail with down the Inside Passage let me just say this: it is incredible.  I was mentally writing a whole blog post about it but couldn’t get past a slightly spluttery and inarticulate ‘it’s really cool, it made me dead happy, we saw whales, and you get to sleep on a boat, and the food was scrummy, and can we go again, can we, can we, CAN WE???’  I couldn’t wait to get out of my berth each morning and revelled in the slow and serene pace of ferry life you slip into.  A bite to eat, a little stare out of the window, read a chapter of a book, a brief flurry of excitement as a whale sighting is announced and everyone dives to one side of the boat, listen to some music, do some writing, chat with a fellow passenger, oh it’s 4 o’clock better have a beer, stare out of the window a bit more, repeat.  It was, without question, one of the best things we’ve done in the last six months, a six months full of good things.  I was genuinely sad to get off in Prince Rupert.

Lots of people cruise that route and I’m sure it’s very good but for my money (and for yours) I’d give the ferries a crack.  Unless you really like shuffleboard, dress codes and compulsory tipping, in which case stick to a cruise line. I jest somewhat and am reluctant to vilify a travel method that I’ve never tried but the truth of the matter is that when we walked around Juneau, the Alaskan state capital and a cruise line hub, we repeatedly felt vindicated (and a little smug) by our decision to choose the ferry over a cruise.  Downtown Juneau is dominated by gift shops that service the cruise lines, all selling identical crap to the herds who step, as one, off the cruise ship to spend money on ‘I went to Juneau and all I got was the lousy t-shirt’ t-shirts.  I’ve no reason to believe that the cruise itself is anything less than remarkable, you can’t ruin the incredible scenery after all, but the idea of being shunted ashore every so often to poke around trinkets like a walking ATM, with thousands of other walking ATMs re-enacting a scene from Dawn of the Cruising Dead, is not my idea of fun.
 
But you know what? How you do it is less important than actually doing it.  Sail the Inside Passage – it’s incredible.

Ferry websites for fares, schedules and booking:


If you still would rather book a cruise rather than the ferry, and live in the States or Canada, then try Cruise Compete to negotiate a good deal



The land route

Our route took us south from Anchorage to a loop in the Kenai Peninsula (Kenai, Homer, Seward), back up to Anchorage, then in a loop via Talkeetna, Chena Hot Springs, Valdez, McCarthy and back to Anchorage.  We covered about 2,000 miles in two weeks and although there were a couple of long drive days the routes were magnificent and easy driving.  More details on the places we stopped follows in the section below.

View Larger Map


Hints and tips from the road tip

What follows is a collection of titbits, categorised by the locations we stopped at, and covering camping, activities, eating and drinking, plus anything else that pops into my mind.

Homer

We were very fond of Homer, not least because the sun came out and the sea glistened.
The City Campground in Hornaday Park on the hill above the town was fantastic, with beautiful peek-a-boo views out to the sea, and relatively secluded wooded sites. Plus it was cheap at only $8 per night.  No showers but you can pay for a good hot shower at the Washboard, who also offer laundry services, free Wi-Fi and good coffee.

The Tourist Information office in Homer was manned by quite possibly the friendliest chap in all of Alaska – worth dropping by just to have a chat with him.

Halibut fishing tours are big business in Homer, with countless operators lining the Spit.  I wandered from place to place trying to get the best deal before rapidly realising that they’d all price fixed, getting bored, and booking at the place with the most attractive professional staff.  I loved the tour I went on, and have written about it previously, so shan’t labour the point.  I did a half day trip and this was plenty, not least because I had bruises in my groin area from the two hours spent reeling in the monster, OK large-ish, halibut from the bottom of the ocean.  What, exactly, have you been up to to? asked Helen as I returned sweaty, tired, smelling of fish and with a bruised testicle.

Seward

Seward’s great attraction is Exit Glacier, and it’s well worth the short hike up there to stand next to it.  I mean, it’s not something you do every day, stand next to a glacier, even if it is just, in reality, like a massive cold boulder.

Kayaking in Seward
We camped at Miller’s Landing just out of the town centre and it has a majestic setting next to the water.  The sites are more expensive than State run campgrounds, and are a little close together, although the proximity to the water makes up for this.  They were also running a cracking deal on a half day kayak trip and we were fortunate to push off onto a perfectly still surface, our faces bathed in early morning sunshine.
 
Helen’s advice on the aquarium in Seward is: don’t bother, overpriced and underwhelming.  I anticipated as much so didn’t go.  Ooh, aren’t I clever?

Talkeetna

As we sat watching the US Army band rock out at the weekly ‘live at five’ gig in Talkeetna’s town square, the Alaskan railroad train chugging by in the background, the warm sun showing no signs of setting, I thought to myself I could live here


We camped at the small city campground at the end of Talkeetna’s main, and only, drag.  Although it didn’t provide the seclusion I prefer when camping it did afford the opportunity to have a drink, or several, and stagger back to the tent.  The girls put me to shame by staying out until 4am drinking at the Fairview Inn before falling through the tent flap and filling me in on their new best friend – an avuncular old timer called Leonard who, they slurred, had some moves.  So here’s the practical tip - go to Talkeetna, get drunk, and have a dance with the man in overalls called Leonard.  The girls also confirmed that the old adage about the male female ratio in Alaska – the odds are good but the goods are odd – was indeed true.

It won

Man vs Food recently filmed an episode at Talkeetna’s West Rib Café and Pub where the increasingly chubby host took on the ji-normous Seward’s Folly burger.  I tried to conquer it’s half-size sibling.  Food won.











Chena Hot Springs Resort, north of Fairbanks

Don’t bother.  It’s tatty and overpriced, and the owners seemed to have given up.  It’s the one place we regretted going, especially as we made the judgement call to head up north rather than go to Denali National park. 

The one saving grace was that a moose wandered into our campground, unhurriedly chomped its way through some wild flowers, then made a beeline for Kate who was hiding behind the car, causing her to let out a small squeal.  Both humbling and extremely funny.

Valdez

Well, it rained in Valdez.  A lot.  Then it rained some more.  Then the mist descended. So we didn’t really see Valdez in its best light, which is unfortunate as judging by the drive over the mountains and then down into Valdez this is one of the most beautiful places in Alaska. 

The Valdez Glacier Campground provided a good place to stay, with hot showers.  And here’s a tip for the dog loving budget traveller; the local animal rescue centre lets you take their dogs for a walk.  Cute dogs, nice trails, free.  A winning combination.  Until you have to say goodbye to your new best friend of course.

McCarthy

I’ve written about McCarthy in a previous post, so just the additions here.

Fill up the car before you start the road to McCarthy – there’s no gas en route.  There are a couple of campsites near McCarthy which seemed fairly similar to me.  We chose to stay at the one that was overseen by a cheerful Jonny Vegas lookalike, and it was fine.

The glacier hike is a great way to spend the day, especially if you’ve never walked with crampons on your feet before.





Conclusion

I want to go back.  Writing about Alaska makes me miss it.  It’s incredible.

Seriously now, I’ve told you once already, stop reading this and book a ticket.

Go on, on your way, nothing more to see here.

My other posts written whilst we were in Alaska

A-Unit: Thrift in the Last Frontier.  Written whilst in Homer, and an ode to my love of thrift stores, with a bit of impromptu rapping thrown in for good measure.

Dream Catcher: Also written from Homer, a post that recounts the day I spent halibut fishing, and the good people I met on the boat.

Warner & Spidey get lucky: A post about the road to McCarthy, what to expect when you get there, and some cheeky historical reimagining of what it must have been like to be the pioneers who first discovered this remote place.

<Comments, additions, and corrections are most welcome.  Leave them in the field below, even if you need to leave them as ‘anonymous’.  Feel free to share this blog with your friends and indeed enemies.>  

Thursday, 1 September 2011

Warner & Spidey get lucky

Alaska: McCarthy

When the opportunity presented itself to go to McCarthy, a town at the end of an infamous 60 mile one way road, I was nervous.  Reading about this town some years back had triggered my nascent fascination with Alaska – the town had become the mysterious hero in my own mental wilderness novel - and this made me nervous because you should never meet your heroes.   More prosaically I was nervous because we would be driving a hire car, a hire car with a location transponder no less, down what was for a long time referred to as ‘the worst road in Alaska’.  I have a deep-rooted and unshakeable distrust for hire car companies, and had images of me returning the car with a small chip in the bodywork to be told that I would be charged a squillion dollars for my oversight, them pulling out our route map and pointing out the ‘bad road’ to silence my increasingly hysterical protests.  So I was nervous; one part fear of the unknown to one part distrust of the known. 

But since when, I asked myself, have nerves got in the way of you doing something?  If they did, I reasoned, then I wouldn’t have disappeared for a year, wouldn’t be in Alaska, and certainly wouldn’t be gently idling the car at the mouth of this famous road; a narrow and foreboding passageway blasted out of millennia old rock.  And you know what? The road was a doddle.  Although there was mild peril to be found in the occasional shards of old railway sleeper that poked out of the ground, a reminder that this was once a railroad servicing the copper mines at Kennicott, just up the hill from McCarthy, the ‘worst road in Alaska’ proved to be a sheep in wolf’s clothing.  My assessment of what constitutes a bad road may have been, I’ll admit, skewed somewhat by African roads which dispense with the ‘pot’ and just do ‘holes’, but even so this road did not live up to its fabled billing.  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed by this, but given the choice between (a) a smooth and incident free journey and (b) a front tyre blow-out and a close up view of a tree, I’d have to opt, on consideration, for the former.  Helen and Kate, my co-pilots, needed no such consideration and were happy, given that navigational duties were redundant, to resume deeply meditative wildlife spotting. Snoozing to you and me.

So despite being a disappointing doddle for those in search of a driving challenge (try it in winter, smartass, I can hear the residents saying in my head), the road is still exciting.  There is undoubtedly something exhilarating about heading down a one way road, knowing with certainty that the road will soon come to a dead stop, and slowly watching the wilderness take hold around you.  I giggled at the irony of a road sign that pointed off to ‘wilderness’, a waggish reminder that we were entering what many consider to be the wildest terrain Alaska has to offer; the Wrangell St. Elias National Park.  It made me reflect on quite how tough, and possibly mentally deranged, the two prospectors who discovered the staggering quantities of copper in this remote place must have been.  It was their discovery that triggered the brief but concerted copper rush at the Kennicott mines, and the establishment of McCarthy as a frontier town servicing the social needs of the miners – where men were men and women were picky. 

Now, I have, on rare occasions, worked in environments that could be considered hostile (where a disconnect in respective ideology can preface a disconnect between your head and neck), but I struggle to imagine quite how hostile this environment must have been for these two prospectors – Clarence Warner and ‘Tarantula’ Jack Smith (Spidey to his mates) - who trudged their way through virgin wilderness, blindly searching out a fortune in the ground.  The story goes that upon stopping for lunch next to McCarthy Creek they initially mistook the green shimmer on the mountains for grass, before doing a double take and going ‘hang on a second’...  

Imagine, if you can, paddling in a stream and commenting to your companion (let’s nickname him ‘Mamba’ to get us in the mood) that there was a lot of glass on the river bed.  Now imagine Mamba turning to you and saying ‘that there’s not glass nancy boy, them be diamonds’! I like to think that Warner and Spidey shared a similar moment of revelation upon ascertaining that the green tinge on the mountainside was copper, not grass; the two of them dancing a little jig hand in hand, shouting into the air ‘we’re gonna be rich’, Warner holding Spidey’s hand tenderly and letting eye contact linger for just a little too long, before Spidey rebuffs him with a grunt and a muttered ‘I’m lonely but I’m not that lonely’. It was these two men, with their special relationship, and even more special discovery that was the start of a typical boom and bust pioneer history that would, over a hundred years later, find the three of us standing at the bank of the same creek, staring at the same mountain range.  And with the same spirit of discovery that motivated these early pioneers we crossed the footbridge leading into McCarthy, searching for our own riches: dinner and a pint.

It’s easy to walk the length of McCarthy’s main drag, as we did, get to the end and go ‘er, is that it’? And that’s why I loved it.  This is a ghost town, a speck of civilisation in the vast wilderness, but it’s a ghost town with perks, not least of which is a snug pub with a hearty menu.  Adjoined to the pub is a rather innocuous fine dining restaurant; its innocuous location being the main selling point I think, although I gather that the food is really rather splendid.  It’s not my cup of moose stew though; I considered the bear shaped plates we’d bought for our camping a superfluous luxury on account of my belief that camp cuisine is best serviced by a fire, some meat, and a stick.  If it’s a special night then I might crack out the napkin shaped leaves.  So the prospect of dealing with not just one, but several, sets of cutlery was simply an affectation too far in this ghost town.  Instead we got tipsy on a surprisingly diverse selection of beers, ear wigging the conversations of the local residents, and hearing snippets of what passes for day-to-day life in a town where the road ends and wilderness begins.  Lost dogs and bears seemed to dominate, although I couldn’t confirm that the two were related.

And so we spent a couple of days enjoying being on the edge of wilderness; sitting around a campfire, hiking the nearby glacier with crampon’ed feet, and listening intently to the strange sound in our ears: silence.  It’s Alaska’s soundtrack, after all, and I like to imagine that it was maybe shattered late one night in 1900 when, from a lonely tent, Spidey's gruff tones rang out; you better pray that that's a bear got into our tent who's touching my leg Warner, or you and I are gonna fall out.                       



Sshh! Don't tell the hire car company.

Just so you can tell the difference

'The worst road in Alaska' - what-evs!

Bridge across the McCarthy River. Pete McCarthy tells the tale of two local residents who, on their return from Anchorage with a live pig as cargo, thought it would be fun to bungy the pig off the edge.  The pig enjoyed it apparently and so began a short-lived bungee jumping business.

Ice hiking on a glacier just outside McCarthy

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

A-Unit: thrift in the Last Frontier

Alaska, Kenai Peninsula

‘Eew, don’t put that thing on my hoodie, it smells like dead people’. 

‘Well I think it’s pretty snazzy, and look, the last owner has left me a bottle top in one of the pockets’ I replied, proffering up the bonus gift from the inside pocket of my newly acquired four dollar bright orange body-warmer I had snaffled, along with a bunch of other cold weather gear, from the Salvation Army thrift store’s racks in Homer, the southernmost town on Alaska’s Kenai Peninsula.

‘Yeh, well I bet that was his lucky bottle top, one he always carried and fondled as he fished these waters, before that fateful night when the cruel mistress of the ocean took him.  And now you have it, a bad omen.  Like I say, it smells of dead people, and that stain looks like poo’.

And so began the call and response game between me and our new temporary travelling companion, my oldest friend, Haley Joel Osment Kate who had, in a moment of impressive impulsiveness, said ‘why the hell not’ and booked a last minute holiday, not to the Balearics, but to Alaska to join us.

(Me) ‘Ooh, these new boots are warm’, (Kate) ‘dead people’s boots’. 

(Me) ‘This fleece really was terrific value’, (Kate) ‘That’s what they said, before they died’.

(Me) ‘These underpants are, um, supportive’:  (Kate) <raised eyebrow> ‘Bet they died of crotch rot’.

I love thrift shops (charity shops in British parlance), and can happily spend hours poking around the racks, or plunging elbow deep into the bargain bins.  And thrift shops in North America are the best.  The ‘make do and mend’ ethos has not yet supplanted the ‘give away and buy new’ one, and I’m happy picking at the bones of this consumer society, a vulture circling before hungrily swooping on a branded bright blue, down filled hat, with earflaps, for the princely sum of 50 cents.  Maybe that’s what that old rapscallion 50 cent (or fiddy as the inarticulate kids call him) should do a remix to his song Candy Shop about:

gonna take you to the thri-ift shop
I’ll let you touch my bottle top
go ‘head girl, ignore the plop
keep going ‘til you buy the lot

I'll take you to the thri-ift shop
Boy one taste of this crotch rot
I'll have you spending not much of what you got
Keep going 'til you find those pots (woah)       

Yeah...
Uh huh
So cheap

gonna take you to the thri-ift shop
Come and touch this new pot
go ‘head girl, ignore the clots
Keep going we’ll refurnish the yacht

Ohh, yeh, baby etc…

But let’s back up a little.  We weren’t supposed to be in Alaska.  We were supposed to be in Myanmar (Burma).  That is until on one humid and sticky evening in Vietnam a couple of months ago Helen turned to me and said ‘I can’t believe we’ve still got six weeks left in South East Asia.  This sounds really bad, but I kinda want a change of scenery’.  ‘Yeh, I sort of know what you mean’ I replied.  ‘We could, of course, change our plans’ I floated.  ‘Where would you really like to go’? I asked, figuring that once you articulate your hopes the rest is just detail.  ‘Well, this is stupid and totally unrealistic’ she replied, ‘but we’ve always talked about Alaska, but it’s a long way away’.  And that’s what did it.  Alaska is a long way away.  But then it is always a long way away, no matter where you are.  That’s the point.  Alaska is exotic, more exotic to me than anywhere else I could think of.  Where men are men and moose are nervous.  Where the border guards get twitchy if you don’t have a beard, even more so if you’re a man. 

So, a couple of calls to the friendly people at Trailfinders in Cardiff to shift our flights, a plea of assistance to those kind, anonymous folk who answer questions in travel discussion forums on t’interweb for no reward other than the satisfaction that comes from the maxim of ‘it’s nice to be nice’, and we had a new plan.  Having a new plan – is there anything finer?  It’s one of the things that has stuck with me most from the time we spent in Africa with our tour leader, and now friend, Tim; his fondness for the phrase ‘let’s make a plan’.  It’s a phrase so full of possibilities, so lacking in procrastination, so no-nonsense.  It sits up there with ‘yes we can’, ‘ I have a dream’, and ‘I want a Big Society’.  Oh, hang on a sec, one of those phrases doesn’t look quite right – that’s right Cameron, the one that means absolutely NOTHING, you naïve, focus-group reliant, out of your depth buffoon.

Anyway, what was I saying? Ah, yes, Alaska, our new plan.  Flying up from Seattle, where we’d rendezvoused with Kate, the sky getter lighter as we headed north, we peered out of the plane window, seeing wraith-like clouds hugging the mountain ranges and stretching down to the sea like glaciers.  Oh, they are glaciers.  Lots of glaciers, hugging the coastline until the lights of Anchorage appeared like an oasis of civilisation in this untamed land. Trying, but failing, to get some sleep in the hire car on our first night I reflected that now was probably the time to get our game faces on, or we’d end up looking like complete greenhorns, the type of city folk who try to cuddle a grizzly and then look shocked when it acts like a wild animal.  Or at least would look shocked if they still had a face left. 

But who was I kidding?  We were greenhorns.  Better to admit it and respect this land of unforgiving wilderness than act all enigmatic and end up trudging Into the Wild before realising the wild wouldn’t let us trudge back out.   We all, I think, shared this exciting sense of the unknown, of a wilderness beyond Anchorage, that tinge of nervousness that accompanies a new adventure tugging at our bellies.  The simmering nervousness was relieved the next day when Kate said she’d ask for directions to the nearest Liqueur Store. ‘Um, I think they pronounce it Liquor Store’ I replied, ‘there’s not much call for crème-de-menthe up here’.  Giggling, the hire car stocked up with camping kit, a new cooler, a ridiculously oversized tent, and enough liquor to fell a mountain man, we headed south out of Anchorage into the Kenai Peninsula, Adam and Joe podcasts on the Ipod in the car, the most staggering and humbling landscape rolling by outside the car.

Bathed in sunshine we carried on south, then west, passing scores of fisherman lined up along the banks of the Kenai River, reeling in salmon with an ease that reminded me that of all the adjectives one could apply to Alaska, abundance is probably the best.  Abundant scenery, abundant space, abundant wildlife, abundant natural resources.  Excluding the intelligence of Alaska’s most recent, most glamorous, and certainly most famous Governor this was a land of abundance.  Finally however, the distinct lack of abundance in my sleep got the better of me and I declared that we had to set up camp for the night or risk seeing one of those river beds in a little more detail than any of us would appreciate.

Sleep deprived, inexperienced, and desperate for a camping spot we made a stupid decision as the rain started to fall, first in drops, then in sheets.  'That beach looks interesting' we said, 'there are lots of other people camped down there'.  And there were, except these were fishermen, taking part in the annual dip-net fishing event that is hosted on the beach in Kenai.  They were there to catch fish in their oversized nets not, as we were to discover, to enjoy a prime camping spot.  Pulling our camping kit out of the car, price tags still attached, we dragged it down onto the beach in torrential rain, the phrase ‘city folk’ running through my mind as we received bemused looks from the locals.  Resisting the urge to batter them out of the way with our double air mattress (‘well, I might look like a ridiculous city slicker, but at least I’ll be a comfortable ridiculous city slicker, bosh’) we erected our cavernous tent in silence, soaked through to the bone, sand making its way into every nook, cranny, and orifice.  Shivering in the tent, the wind blowing off our rain sheet after a fitful night’s sleep, we were up and out of there early, at which point I remembered the old military adage; any fool can be uncomfortable.  I’m no fool, I lied to myself. 

And that is what led us to going wild in the aisles in the thrift store when we arrived in Homer, with the conviction that there’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad preparation.  With a new warm, waterproof wardrobe purchased for less than $25 we were ready to put our inauspicious start behind us.  Humming a little tune, our Alaska adventure was beginning to take shape…

Hey girls, we’re in Alaska
we’re gonna party like it’s Alaska
we’re gonna sip liqueur as it’s Alaska
 And you know we don't care for bears
‘cos it’s Alaska!

Bo.

Kate and I on the beach in Homer.  Check out the new threads!

<< Well, the blog has shot through the 6,000 page views mark which is, as ever, far more exciting for me than it is for you. A big welcome to all the new readers; a veritable smorgasbord of nationalities.  Thank you for reading, particularly those of you who came for the 'useful' posts on SE Asia and have stayed for the whole show.  There will be another 'useful' post on Alaska coming soon, but I first need to rid my mind of all the superfluous nonsense about thrift stores, 50 cent, and whatever else pops in before then.  

Although most of what I write is tongue-in-cheek, my thanks for reading is straight down the line serious:  <Hand friskily placed on your forearm, intense and creepy eye contact, little bit of spittle around the edges of my mouth> Thank you. >>